Pieces of Me

I am great in a crisis. I will bandage your various bleeding extremities, I can call 911 and give directions without flinching or forgetting where I am, and I can spot a citizen who needs help a mile away without the benefit of glasses that I vainly insist I don’t need. What I am not so great at are everyday trials and tribulations. The spilled milk, the rude counter help, the windshield wiper that the car wash trashed—in short, those every-day frustrations and irritations that seem to reduce our morale by pieces.

Individually, petty annoyances are just that—petty. It’s just when they are relentless over a long period of time that they make people postal. Case in point: Yesterday at Starbucks.

Case in Point

I love Starbucks. I consider it one of the must-stop places along any journey I undertake from the corner to shop to the other coast on a road trip. I think there is something to be said for a clean restroom and some very potent caffeine. The fact that at Starbucks I can find these with usually happy service people, and that my very own Droid has an application to find me the closest Starbucks anywhere I happen to be, makes the experience handy, positive and fun. But yesterday I must have had the rudest Starbucks barista ever. When I asked politely for a straw (which he forgot) he threw it at me in rushed silence. I told him after I saw him react far more politely to a cute teenager that he needed some customer service feedback—and I politely but firmly gave it to him. Did he respond politely then? Was he sorry, or even the robot-trained-counter-help version of sorry that would have resulted in him offering a pretend apology to placate me? No, he was not sorry, and he muttered about me audibly to his coworkers as I walked away. Basically, he was a pathetic excuse for a person working with the public and my mother would have taken her business elsewhere.

So, yeah, this is meaningless in a sense. It’s one moment with one stranger in one place of business. People are rude all over the place. It’s the nature of minimum wage and unskilled counter help the world over. People who aren’t working at places they feel passionate about aren’t living their dreams. This has a tendency to make them rude. So be it. I get it. Whatever. But, when this takes yet another piece of my hard won positive mental attitude and throws it into the trash can with the coffee grounds—I have to react.

Have a Cookie, Mister Postman

In my past life as a person of size, I would have soothed my ruffled nerves with something edible.  You know, when you are sad have a cookie—that sort of thing. But now since I can’t eat that cookie—or choose not to, I have to give people the opportunity to share learning moments with me. And I have to do it in the moment. A polite confrontation in the moment means one less cookie I have to eat later. It’s simple math.

Maybe I could be positive to the next rude person and say, “Look, I just lost about 85 pounds, and I’m trying to make it 100 in the next 8 weeks and there is a very good chance if you are rude to me that I will not only bite your head off but chew it up and actually consume it.

I just wonder what response I would get from the insolent dude who so audibly mocked me as I walked away yesterday. Would he laugh? Would he get a grip? Would we share some precious moment of humanity and connection and both walk away better for it? No. No way. He would react exactly the same way as he did. His personality is as carved in stone at 22 as many an older man. I give up with him. (The Starbucks online feedback form, notwithstanding.) But I do know that proactive, assertive and polite action makes people feel better about life, more in control, and less demeaned by the slings and arrows of outrageous but ordinary crap. And those who handle things in the moment have less emotional fallout.

So next time someone gives you less-than-human treatment, invite him to share a learning moment with you and then get on with your life. You won’t need a cookie and you will have taken a proactive step. And I am even hopeful that somewhere, somehow, my little learning moments will eventually impact the world for better—and if not, at least life’s petty annoyances don’t get a piece of me.

The Moral:

Never teach a pig to sing it frustrates you and it annoys the pig.

STATS!

Lost: 3.4

Total loss: 9.0

Fruits, veggies, water and other good stuff: You betcha.

Exercise: Yoga and walking my dogs in an effort to get them to like me best!

Rude clerks: 1

Feedback opportunities: 1

Cookies: 0