Don't Bring Me Down!

You've got the power!

Have you ever tried to change your life in some meaningful way and found that sometimes people who you think are supposed to be in your corner just aren't? Have you got "friends" or loved ones who say they are on your team but in reality are alienated by your attempts to change your life, reinvent yourself, or get healthy? Have you just assumed you were too sensitive, even though they were negative, or passive aggressive, suddenly just not interested in your progress, or downright mean? Have you assumed that it was somehow not them, but you?

Well, guess again. When you are actively looking to change your life and people freak out and suddenly act less positive to you it can only be a couple of things:

1. They are envious. Maybe they want to change something about their lives too, but as yet they don't feel ready. Instead of getting real with themselves your attempts for something better alienate them. People who are like this can often turn their own negativity about themselves toward you.

2. They fear that your transformation will take you away from them somehow. They fear that you will lose weight or get healthy or follow your dream and leave them. It's a fear-based reaction and not based on reality. People who we love hope we change for the better. They support and encourage our dreams. They cheer us on--even if they are not where they want to be in life.

3. They are rescuers and your ability to heal yourself and take care of yourself and show some gumption and resolve gets in the way of their need to fix you. Some people are into the "broken wing" syndrome. That is, they love fixing people, rescuing people, and helping others to the point that they don't deal well with those who hook into their own empowerment.

4. They are toxic and you didn't see it. People who love you empower you. People who love you are on your side. People who love you applaud your efforts and want the best for you. People who love you who are having their own problems have the grace to tell you that and make it clear that their personal issues are theirs, not yours.

Long ago I had a friend who gave me a short and sweet piece of advice: "Hang around people who like you." This is a golden rule and one to live by. It is also completely true. People who like you and, especially, love you should make you feel more good than bad. When you need them they should try to be there for you as often as they can. When you share your successes they cheer--they don't say, "Stop bragging." Look at how you treat those you like and those you love. Are you good to them? Are you doing the things you ask for in return? It's not a one-way street. You must be willing to give to them as well. You must give what you want to receive.

So, try something new this week. Just start paying attention. If people aren't supporting you or are acting hostile or passive aggressive to you as you start to change your life to live healthier, sit them down and have a kind and loving discussion. Ask for what you need. People who love you will always try to give you more of what you need, not less. Give people time to get on board. Especially those you love. Rome wasn't built in a day. But, after you have informed people gently and with love about what you need, make some good decisions for yourself. You deserve respect. In fact, you must insist upon respect. It's never too late to learn this or to change your circumstances.

The message for today is: Take care of yourself. Align yourself with people who help, not hurt. Align yourself with people who make you feel good, not bad. Do not allow anyone to make you feel the good things you do for yourself are selfish. Surround yourself with positive, nurturing, supportive people. Send those who aren't off to deal with their negativity and personal issues with your support and love, but let them have space and time to heal.

All of this takes incredible bravery and strength, but you will find, once you try it, that strength grows with every positive action you take for yourself.

Thank you for your amazing support and generous hearts!


Love--
Beauty

Paleo--In the Beginning...

Well, I made it through the first day. I tossed out everything in my refrigerator, and because I can't stand to throw away good food, I have given anything I don't choose to eat to someone who will enjoy it. It was strange to see huge bags of trash coming out of my fridge, but maybe it's symbolic--this process is one of cleansing. Eating clean, starting over--and in a sense, resetting my body. A reboot of sorts. If you are reading The Beauty and the Blog for the first time--welcome! Please check back often to see my updates about the 90-Day-Challenge. Also, please join my on Twitter (BeautyNBlog)  or TEAM GRACE on Facebook, and feel free to follow this blog too for instant updates when I post.


Yesterday I did a lot of research for Paleo sites online and they really run the gamut--from people who are trying to improve their health, or dealing with their children's auto-immune diseases, or dealing with their own ill health or diabetes, or like me, trying to get healthy which also requires a large weight loss.


Paleo, in short, is eating like a cave person. The theory is the more natural the better. So, if you see a huge list of ingredients that you don't recognize, don't eat it. If you can imagine yourself dressed like someone from the Flintstones gathering this food, or spearing it if you are more like Bam Bam, then, that is Paleo.  A no brainer is looking at it like this:


Eat:
Vegetables
Fruits
Lean meats
Fish
Good oils (Olive, coconut, avocados)
Nuts and seeds
Don't eat sugar, dairy, gluten


I will include resources for you to read more every day, both here and on TEAM GRACE.


So, Day One Menu highlights included:
Lunch
An organic salsa and avocado omelet, served with baby carrots.
Snack
Dried banana slices from Trader Joes. Amazingly sweet, tasted like candy and low calorie.
Dinner
Grass Fed Beef with sautéed organic mushrooms
Organic spinach salad with tomatoes and avocado, olive oil, fresh garlic, and balsamic vinegar dressing
Cantaloupe and berries

Day Two Menu highlights:
Breakfast
A premeasured 170 calorie serving of raw almonds
1 cup coffee (yes, I am still using coffee, and may for the whole time, but I am thinking about this. I am a coffee addict and cutting down is a process!)
Lunch (Really more like brunch today.)
Organic spinach, grass fed beef and egg scramble
Fruit
Dinner
Swai
Sweet potato
Zucchini
a very small piece of 85% dark chocolate (people on Paleo generally allow this, and heck, it's Valentine's Day!


Water is vital. I am also almost immediately noticing that everything is tasting more intense. I feel like I am getting food and I am not terribly hungry. One nice thing is you can really have as much as you want on Paleo, the only thing you truly need to limit are nuts and seed and oils--while they should definitely still be enjoyed in moderation.


Check back later for my emotional check in--Getting Support.


PS Check out these sites for information on Paleo: http://www.paleoforlife.org/html/intro and http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2010/10/04/the-beginners-guide-to-the-paleo-diet/


Love-
Beauty

The A$$ is Half Empty

These could be hearts, turn the computer over...
 

Kim Kardashian take a seat. Hell, you already have one! For some reason as I start this blog post today, I am full of stupid plays on words and even lamer one-liners about reality TV stars and the size of people's a$$es--but I promise there's a point. And the point is this:

I am starting my own hardcore weight loss program in a very, very ambitious way. I have joined my gym's 90-day challenge and I intend to lose 50 pounds during this process. (Or come as close as I can, working as hard as I can.) I will be working with a trainer and eating a method of clean that is known as "Paleo"--(read: Cavegirl).

Why?

Well, a couple of years ago I lost about 75 pounds. I have managed to keep most of it off even though I struggle to re-lose the last ten pounds of this about three times a year. I have managed to improve my fitness to a level where my blood pressure is holding (with meds) I can do 30 minutes on an elliptical about 3 or 4 times a week with no stress and I wear normal size clothes--although I am at the top of the heap in normal sizes, I am not in fat lady store land. So that is awesome, right? Sure it is, but (and the big but is) I am still overweight. I am still on blood pressure meds. I am still having migraines. In short, I am half way done. What seemed like amazing progress three years ago has now become the far thinner version of the fat me.

So, what to do? My gym (Lifetime Fitness) has a 90-day-challenge a few times a year. I tried this once before and didn't stick for various reasons, most of them not really good enough, and that was the best I could do at the time. But now, because I see myself needing just as many years on the clock as I can manage to pursue my revitalized career writing for the musical theatre, I don't see myself in any kind of "wind down" phase. In fact, I see myself ramping up. However, unlike Sheldon Cooper in my favorite episode of BBT, I don't have a Virtual Presence Device to take me around town while I hide in my my cozy bed protecting myself from the dangers of living in the world.

I just need to be healthier. I don't know about your family tree, but in mine we have heart attack and stroke and some cancer thrown in just in case that wasn't fun enough. I am not a child (yes, I know I am ageless), and I need to take control of my fitness and health now if I want to be the Betty White of the theatre when I am in my 90s.

So, here's my plea:

I need support. I want community. I would love it if everyone would join me on the quest and spend 90 days eating right and working out and doing whatever necessary to meet their own personal goals, but I understand not everyone is ready, able, willing or even needs to do that. I do. So what I ask of you is your virtual support.

So join me here, on FaceBook (Team Grace), on Twitter (BeautyNBlog), and heck if social media isn't your bag, baby, join me mentally. I can use support, I will be working my "a$$" off (apologies Kim K.) and I will report here. Maybe every day, certainly every week.

I have a friend who told me I am a very sensitive person. Well, perhaps. But I am as sensitive to good news and positive attitude and high energy as I am to anything else. I intend to start a fire. I intend to light my own candle. I intend to rock this. Who wants to come along? I have a party bus with many large, comfortable seats (sorry again, Kim). So get your yoga pants on and let your freak flag fly. We leave on February 10th.


Love--

Wilma Flintstone
(Yeah, it's me, Beauty) ;)