Don't Bring Me Down!

You've got the power!

Have you ever tried to change your life in some meaningful way and found that sometimes people who you think are supposed to be in your corner just aren't? Have you got "friends" or loved ones who say they are on your team but in reality are alienated by your attempts to change your life, reinvent yourself, or get healthy? Have you just assumed you were too sensitive, even though they were negative, or passive aggressive, suddenly just not interested in your progress, or downright mean? Have you assumed that it was somehow not them, but you?

Well, guess again. When you are actively looking to change your life and people freak out and suddenly act less positive to you it can only be a couple of things:

1. They are envious. Maybe they want to change something about their lives too, but as yet they don't feel ready. Instead of getting real with themselves your attempts for something better alienate them. People who are like this can often turn their own negativity about themselves toward you.

2. They fear that your transformation will take you away from them somehow. They fear that you will lose weight or get healthy or follow your dream and leave them. It's a fear-based reaction and not based on reality. People who we love hope we change for the better. They support and encourage our dreams. They cheer us on--even if they are not where they want to be in life.

3. They are rescuers and your ability to heal yourself and take care of yourself and show some gumption and resolve gets in the way of their need to fix you. Some people are into the "broken wing" syndrome. That is, they love fixing people, rescuing people, and helping others to the point that they don't deal well with those who hook into their own empowerment.

4. They are toxic and you didn't see it. People who love you empower you. People who love you are on your side. People who love you applaud your efforts and want the best for you. People who love you who are having their own problems have the grace to tell you that and make it clear that their personal issues are theirs, not yours.

Long ago I had a friend who gave me a short and sweet piece of advice: "Hang around people who like you." This is a golden rule and one to live by. It is also completely true. People who like you and, especially, love you should make you feel more good than bad. When you need them they should try to be there for you as often as they can. When you share your successes they cheer--they don't say, "Stop bragging." Look at how you treat those you like and those you love. Are you good to them? Are you doing the things you ask for in return? It's not a one-way street. You must be willing to give to them as well. You must give what you want to receive.

So, try something new this week. Just start paying attention. If people aren't supporting you or are acting hostile or passive aggressive to you as you start to change your life to live healthier, sit them down and have a kind and loving discussion. Ask for what you need. People who love you will always try to give you more of what you need, not less. Give people time to get on board. Especially those you love. Rome wasn't built in a day. But, after you have informed people gently and with love about what you need, make some good decisions for yourself. You deserve respect. In fact, you must insist upon respect. It's never too late to learn this or to change your circumstances.

The message for today is: Take care of yourself. Align yourself with people who help, not hurt. Align yourself with people who make you feel good, not bad. Do not allow anyone to make you feel the good things you do for yourself are selfish. Surround yourself with positive, nurturing, supportive people. Send those who aren't off to deal with their negativity and personal issues with your support and love, but let them have space and time to heal.

All of this takes incredible bravery and strength, but you will find, once you try it, that strength grows with every positive action you take for yourself.

Thank you for your amazing support and generous hearts!


Love--
Beauty