Situations change. Tragedy strikes or, more often than not, the changes that occur seep into your life and you begin to see with increasing awareness that things that seemed to work so well have altered. Time has marched on, and while you wanted things to freeze-frame and stay perfectly in place, time has soldiered on. Time takes no prisoners, people change. Circumstances change. Everything is fluid. Things are always getting better or worse. There is no static moment in time--except in a picture that you post to Facebook or Instagram that you look at the next day and, by then, it's already ancient history.
That's why if you have a loved one or a partner or a person in your life who you enjoy completely and share an amazing bond with you should capture the moment with your feelings and your mind and your heart and your soul more readily than a camera. Because while it is nice to look at it on the Facebook scroll, it isn't the same as living it. While you are trying to get that perfect group photo you could be looking into someone's eyes--having a moment of recognition. You can love someone forever, but even with a love that lasts eternity you can be sure that one day, somehow, some way you will look into that shining face for the last time. You will have your last moment of recognition. Your last hug, your last kiss, your last shared raised eyebrow commiserating over something that is shared.
And we hunger for those shared moments. We eat them like candy, the best candy, but like all candy the box eventually empties. Doors close, days end. Experiences conclude. How do we deal with this? How do we avoid a perpetual state of regret?
Maybe we have to let go of our expectations of how it should be with everything and everyone we know. Maybe the job won't always be the same, the friends will come and go as people move and interests change. The milestones will serve to both unite and separate us. Maybe we need to face life with the knowledge that everything is fluid. This is brilliant for a horrible time--we can say, yes, it's just now and one day another good time will come, but it is less lovely for that moment that you feel the bliss. But bliss is a funny thing. It's a soap bubble of experience. You can see it and feel it and sense it, you can even hold it for just a millisecond, if you are careful and gentle and so very light with your touch. But it is just an instant. An instant. And then we must move on. We must leave the pain or the joy of each and every moment and move to the next one. Most days we leave one not-so- special moment and move to the not-so-special next moment--but it doesn't have to be that way. We can take the hand of our friend, our partner, or our child. We can look into people's eyes. We can be in the moment. We can be in this moment and then we can kiss it lovingly good bye. Send that last self, that self of a moment ago, off with the last selves of those we love, to play in the past.
What seems like it could be filled with overwhelming regret doesn't have to be that. Every new moment is absolutely fraught with possibility. We can have lots and lots of do-overs. Moment by moment, and all it takes is awareness. All it takes is a willingness to be aware, be present, and yes, not grab on too tight. Just loosen your grip. Let it be.
And maybe if we get outside ourselves on some level and think less about how it feels for us and what we are loosing and gaining in each and every moment and a little more about how everyone around us is thinking and feeling, maybe we will open ourselves to amazing new experiences. It doesn't mean you can fix things for other people--even though sometimes you can--it just means you can understand more, even if all you can do is understand and let them know.
When I was a little girl I remember a game that we played where we would lie, tummies down, on the grass and look at the little world we saw there. Tiny leaves and rocks and bugs--an ant making his way somewhere important. In an instant we changed the focus of our worlds and suddenly saw things from a new perspective. We are always free to do that, if it means focusing on someone else or something else for a moment or just changing focus. Looking at a book shelf in your house you have seen a million times without really seeing it. Remembering why those books and other objects are there. There are worlds of meaning in the smallest places and the smallest interactions between people. It's interesting to think about how you can change your perspective, pull away from a moment that doesn't please you just by shifting focus--in an instant.
But wherever you choose to focus your life, moment by moment, each moment passes and if we can embrace it more fully if we learn the grace of letting go of people and things to which we cling. If we can embrace the people in our lives without really holding on we will see more moments of bliss and more peace about each moment--whether it is good or bad.
I had a yoga teacher once who used to say, "Let go." She seemed to say it over and over and over again. In her class her gentle words would flow over me like a blanket of peace. She changed my life and I think, for me, it is important to remember those two words. And here are some more words that my heart is repeating that I want to share with you: Embrace and let go. Love and move forward. Live your life and look around you. Be and let it be.
Let it Be--The Beatles--all rights reserved
Namaste--Beauty
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